Meanderings of a Wolf
by LyknScribe
Summary: Remus keeps a Journal, the first entry takes up right after Sirius Is killed.Story has been found 3 years after first entry...now adding second
1. Entry 1 It Starts

This is written as a number of on going Journal entries of Remus J. Lupin. Please feel free to comment and review. I look forward to your opinion of my portrayal of his thoughts.  
  
I do not own any of J.K Rowlings Char.  
  
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Entry One  
  
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font script"nuptialscript"  
  
font size=18  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
So much has happened since my last entry. You'll forgive me for not writing sooner once you hear of all that's happened.  
  
It's over. We've won, at least in the overall since. I've taken Harry back to the Black Mansion, He's only just fallen asleep the poor boy, cried him self to sleep in my arms. It's just the two of us here now, and the house elf, Kreacture.Though I've not seen him sense we arrived.  
  
If not for Harry I don't think anyone could have kept me from following my beloved Sirius. He's gone now, He's fallen, and he will never raise again.  
  
It startles me now as I read over my own slanted scribe, I am remarkably calm, I do not think in honesty that I realize what has happened to the full consent.  
  
Harry was my first worry, and even as he sleeps I feel the worry build like a dementor arising from the depts threatening to take the small ounces of happiness we both have and shred them leaving us both hallow and alone.  
  
It will not be long until he has to return to the Dursleys. To a home of taunts and jibes, none to comfort him in his pain, even if he were permitted to let his so called family know of the things he saw and the ones he lost.  
  
The boy needs a home, and I mean to give it to him. Sirius and I had been talking about it, ever sense Sirius escaped from the hell hole dubbed Azakaban. The idea of my Obtaining custody and along without faithful black shaggy mutt Harry and I would live in happiness. In a good wizarding home in love and care as Harry so deserves.  
  
He's waking up, and he needs me. I shall write again soon.  
  
~Faithfully  
  
Remus J. Lupin 


	2. Entry 2 Cold

This is written as a number of on going Journal entries of Remus J. Lupin. Please feel free to comment and review. I look forward to your opinion of my portrayal of his thoughts. I found this story 3 years after I originally posted it…Now the story continues…

I do not own any of J.K Rowlings Char.

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Entry Two

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Dear Journal:

This house is so quiet, more so that normal. Not that I can even tell what normal is anyway. No laughing or shouting. I find my self almost hoping for Severus to show up and rant. I just need something here to keep my mind off everything.

I'm in Hell here. More than I ever was before. Even when he was …there…He was still alive, and I knew in my heart I could feel him. Not anymore. This whole place is nothing but a ice box. It's not that it's cold by temperature, just seems that way to me. Like the ice is in my bones. I can't warm up.

Maybe what Sirius said when he got out of prison…maybe that would explain it all. For the first year at least after he escaped. He had to have 6 or more quilts on the bed, and hot showers that I could boil and egg in. I told him he was crazy, until he explained it to me.

He told me that his life had been so empty, alone and with out hope the very warmth in his body had dwindled and left. He told me one night that he wondered if he could ever be warm again. I promised I'd always keep him warm and I would always be there to keep the cold at bay.

Funny, Now I'm cold, and I'm alone. Only, there isn't anyone here. When Harry left to go back he hugged me and thanked me. It would have meant more if it hadn't been so hollow and empty sounding. I can't judge him for it, I know I sound the same - Hell we both feel the same.

I'm going to go get another blanket, I'll write again soon,

Faithfully

Remus J. Lupin

P.S. Will I ever be warm again?


	3. Entry 3 A grain of salt

**Ok, just got married fell behind - Very sorry and thus I continue - as always I don't own Harry Potter or I'd be making loads of money of it, not drooling at each review.**

_Dear Diary,_

_This pains me beyond words the silence in this house. I'm thought about getting a puppy. Maybe an Irish Wolfhound, that's what Sirius always reminded me of. Maybe if I had something to knock things over or something that needs me to feed it and protect it, maybe then I wouldn't feel so useless. _

_I found one of Sirius' old notebooks under the bed in what had been Regulas' room. It was nothing fancy just talking about the girls he liked, … or the boys. Just teenage rant, but to see him mention my name- I broke down. I know I sound pathetic but just seeing his handwriting and my name, it helped to put a grain of sale into a empty ocean. I think I'll explore this place a little more tomorrow. Maybe I'll find more of my love to keep this cold away._

Dutifully yours,

_Remus J. Lupin_


End file.
